Surviving An Affair - 5 Proven Steps to Follow to Save Your Marriage

Tears, rage, anger, disbelief, pain, and shock are emotions that will arise from the discovery of an affair. It is something that will catch you by surprise. You will not understand what happened. It might overwhelm you and drown you in despair. This experience is wished upon no one. But, it happens. Surviving affair will put you to the test. It will bring you to your knees and it will bewilder you. However, nothing is impossible if you believe that you can survive. The road is long and difficult.

Where do you begin? And how will it end? Only time will tell. Let's begin this journey....follow my steps and you will be ok.

Step 1 - In order to begin the path towards healing both spouses must be willing to work hard at mending the relationship. It will take effort, but the effort will not be wasted if both want to fix the problem. Even though the anger will make talking through the details very difficult it is important that you follow through even if it means small amounts of conversation times. Keep talking and stay committed with your efforts.

Step 2 - For the cheating partner it is important that when the conversations take place you show empathy when your spouse displays highly charged emotions. Learn to listen without commenting. Let your heart guide you and permit your brain to intelligently be empathetic. Do not pretend being empathetic...be honest and be real!

Step 3 - In all this, the spouse that has been betrayed must keep their dignity. Do not become hysterical and make a fool of yourself. You did nothing wrong. Your spouse made a choice and you are not to blame. Irregardless, of what your spouse says, keep your self respect. Stay calm and be strong!

Step 4 - If necessary ask your partner to leave. The space between both of you will give you the opportunity to deal with untested thoughts and feelings. If your partner leaves, let them know that you will contact them when the time is right. Take as much time as possible to be with yourself.

Step 5 - To forgive will be the last thing you do. Do not rush into forgiveness. No matter how lonely you feel do not accept your unfaithful spouse's plea to return. You must deal with your pain and anger...and you must rebuilt trust!

It will take an extraordinary effort to pick up the pieces after an affair, but all things are possible when love is still alive. This experience will forever change you, but don't despair tomorrow will be a new day!