How to Be a Good Listener in a Relationship

As we evolve, it is becoming more and more difficult to

really hear what other people are saying. Really listening and understanding another person doesn't just happen automatically.

When people communicate, the message is often lost or misinterpreted for many reasons. The first place communication gets lost is if the receiver is unaware that his partner is trying to send an important message. So it can help to clearly ask him if he is available for a discussion.

Be Available to Your Partner

The second place communication gets lost is if the receiver is not available intellectually or emotionally. So the person in need of being heard needs to be willing to wait until the receiver can listen with full attention.

The next problem with listening occurs because in most interactions at the same time someone sends us a message, we are busy in our own heads formulating our response. This keeps us from really hearing and understanding the information being sent.

Understand the Other's Feelings

In order to truly listen to and understand your partner, it is important to practice putting your thoughts, emotions, perceptions and beliefs on the back burner and work on really understanding what is going on inside his head. This doesn't mean that you have to agree with what he is saying. It does mean you have to work hard to understand why he is saying and feeling the way he is. When couples achieve this level of hearing one another, they are giving a true gift that will increase intimacy and energy in a relationship.