The Christ-centered Family

Our God is the creator and initiator of families. He loves, blesses and protects it. The Scripture says in Psalm 68:6,

“God setteth the solitary in families.”

From biblical evidence, we can discern that God wants to be involved in the foundation, features, functionalities, and fulfillment in families. His call to the patriarch Abraham is an indication of His desire to work with and through families to achieve His ordained program upon the earth.

“And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse them that curseth thee, and in thee shall all the families of the earth be blessed.”

God wants to bless us, as well as carry out His plans and purposes upon the earth through our families. Any damage to family life is, therefore, a threat to His agenda. But when the family unit is run according to His order, both His church and the earth is edified.

Read the book of Deut. 11:11-21

In the above scripture, we can discern the mind of God concerning the family. God’s ultimate desire is for the family to be completely, consistently, and convincingly fulfilling. He says in verse 21, that we can indeed experience “days of heaven on earth.” 

What does this mean?

(1) It means that we can have continued peace in our families.

(2) It means that we can be guaranteed His continual presence in our families.

(3) It means that we can be assured of His continual fellowship and partnership in our families.

(4) It means that we can continually express the praises of our God in our families.

What is a family?

True biblical family consists of a husband/father, a wife/mother, and the children. A broader interpretation may, however, include members of the household or extended family.

What then is a Christ-centered family?

It is a family where every activity and decision is carried out in a manner that exalts the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a family where Christ is seen as;

(1) The role model ………………………………..Heb.12:2a

(2)  The mark          ………………………….........Phil.3:14

(3) The means          …………………………………John14:6

(4)  The motivation   ………………………………

When we have a family with such character, we can say with confidence that a Christ-centered family has been built.

Before we go further, let us take a close look at Ephesians 5:21 to 6:4. The book of Ephesians is, by all means, the most incisive and practical guide on Christian life and relationships.  It is certainly Paul’s most exhaustive work for the church. By this book, we can discern God’s heart for the family.

In the context of the above scripture, we shall be looking at the Christ-centered family from three perspectives;

(1) The picture of a Christ-centered family

(2) The performance of a Christ-centered family

(3) The principles of a Christ-centered family

THE PICTURE OF A CHRIST-CENTERED FAMILY

Eph.5:21-33, Col.3:18

The above text elucidates the qualities inherent in a Christ-centered family.

(a)  A Christ-centered family is made up of a man and woman in a covenant of marriage. It does not include live-in lovers, and gay couples.  Both are contrary to God’s plan for mankind. A union between members of same sex disrupts His program. A man is a seed giver while a woman is a seed receiver and incubator. The two must work together to fulfill God’s plan and purpose.

(b) A Christ-centered family is the melting pot for all personal and collective challenges. This demands effective and wise management of time, resources, and crisis conditions.

(c)  A Christ-centered family is a nurturing ground for the destinies of men and women. It must not be a disorganized and unruly body. Every component of the family unit must maintain orderliness.

(d) The Christ-centered family should make holiness and righteous living a top priority in all activities and relationships.

(e)  The Christ-centered marriage must consider their marriage vow as sacred.

(f)   The Christ-centered family should be a place for;

-         mutual care

-         mutual concern

-         mutual commitment

-         mutual co-operation

-         mutual respect

When we focus our attention at meeting the above conditions, the peace, and joy of the Lord envelop the home, and family closeness is enhanced.

THE PERFORMANCE OF THE CHRIST-CENTERED FAMILY

Eph.5:22, 25, 6:1,4, Col.3:18-21, 1Pet.3:1-7, Deut.6;6-9, 11:18-21

A Christ-centered family is a highly active body. Every component of the family has divinely assigned roles to perform. There must not be a breaking of ranks. Any weak link in the chain is a threat to the wellbeing of the entire family.  From the above scriptures, we can deduce the following;

(1)  The man, as a husband and father, is expected to fulfill the following roles:

(a)  Love his family like the savior, giving his time and resources to their welfare, seeking the best for them, sacrificially putting their needs above his own. A husband is called to cherish his spouse inspite of her deficiencies and weaknesses.

(b) Lead his home like a servant, show good example, provide for their material needs, and be a good steward of the family resources. No man should abdicate from this responsibility.

(c)  Be the spiritual leader or minister of the family. He must learn to feed his family with God’s word continually.

(d) Be the role model by imbibing the virtues of Christ Jesus in his own life. What a man is determines what a man does. A man’s character is shaped by his relationship with God. Learn to teach your family the ways of the kingdom.

Ps. 78:5-7

“For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children, that the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born, who should arise and declare them to their children, that they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God but keep his commandments.”

(2) The woman, as a wife and mother, is expected to fulfill the following roles:

(a)  Love her husband, accepting him not because off his performance but his divine position as her head.  This means making him;

-         her number one priority

-         having adequate time for him

-         demonstrating this love physically and emotionally

(b)  Supporting  her husband

Prov.31:10-12

“Who can find a virtuosos woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

-         To support the husband means helping him, not competing with him.

-         To support the husband means encouraging him to become a Godly leader.

(3) Submit to his leadership          -   Eph.5:22-23"

….and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over you."  Gen.3:16

-         In the light of God’s word

-         Stand by him in all decisions concerning the family

-         Honor God’s word concerning your roles in the relationship.

(4) Respect him           -    Eph.5:33b

-         By appreciating the weight of his responsibilities

-         Appreciating his unique needs as a man

-         Appreciating that he is in many ways different from you.

(5)  Encourage and motivate him to achieve excellence.

-         by building up his self-esteem

-         admiring him from time to time

-         encouraging him to achieve his goals in life.

(6) Build the home

“Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

Prov.14:1

Whether a marriage will be successful or not depends to a large degree on the attitude of the woman. She may not have started the conflict but she has the capacity to prolong or end it.

Prov.24:3-4

(7) Love and teach her children

A mother’s love requires time and attention. Learn to give the children these two things and they will develop into healthy and well-adjusted adults.

Prov.29:15, 17,

“The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”

(3) The Children in a Christ-centered family have two obligations to fulfill;

(a)  To obey the parents at all times

(b) To honor their parents at all times.

Both obligations must be carried out because;

-         They are right.

-         They are commanded by God.

-         They carry in them the blessings of divine health and long life.

When every component in the family fulfills their roles and responsibilities, there is an upsurge of genuine spiritual friendship, fondness, freedom, freshness, and fruitfulness in the family.

THE PRINCIPLES OF A CHRIST-CENTERED FAMILY

Eph.5:18-23, Prov.4:7, 14:1, Ps.119:89, 128, Col.3:21

Here, we shall be taking a look at the guiding principles that can sustain and enrich a Christ-centered family.  No matter the level of spiritual maturity or moral weakness, if the home is run with these principles, God’s peace, joy, and fulfillment shall yet abound. These principles provide you an opportunity to weigh the strength of your family relationship with a view to making necessary amends.

(1) The Principle of Scripture-centeredness.

Ps.119:89

All the components of the family unit (husband, wife, and children) must respect and regard the Bible as the final authority. This means that every activity of the family must follow Biblical standards and be based on divine revelation.

                            

(2) The Principle of saintliness

Ps.119:128

Every activity in the family must be done in the love of God. Such activity must engender spiritual cleansing and sanctification of the family unit. When we allow this sanctifying grace to flow freely in the family, all negative emotions such as anger, intolerance, lack of forgiveness, envy, and hatred stifles and die.

(3) The Principle of Spirit-fullness

The Christ-centered family must yield itself totally to the Holy Spirit. In this power, all carnalities are silenced. The family is sanctified, made fit for the Master’s use, and prepared unto every good work.

Gal.5:16 says,

“………Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”

(4) The Principle of sound communication

To ensure effective and quality communication, it is necessary to seek to understand, before seeking to be understood. This means that we must never be in a hurry to respond when we are yet to fully understand the point of argument. Good and effective communication is very important in a Christ-centered family.

The scripture says in Prov.15:4,

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life; but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.”

When in doubt, please consider the counsel of Apostle Paul in Eph.4:29,31.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the heavens. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.”

(5) The Principle of Submissiveness

Eph.5:21

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

This principle puts an end to all manner of squabbles, infighting, abuses, repulsive anger, and disaffection that tear down the fabric of families. As we “submit one to another in the fear of God,” the spirits of genuine love and joy envelopes the home.

Submissiveness enables the Christ-centered family to continually live in peace, harmony, joy, and freedom while fulfilling God’s purposes and plans upon the earth.

(6) The Principle of selflessness

Phil.2:4-10, 1Cor.10:31-33

Self-centeredness is the bane of many individuals and families. The result is insecurity, intolerance, ingratitude, anger, unfaithfulness, and all manner of vices that have ravaged the family unit for centuries.  Selflessness, on the other hand, leads to sacrifice and Christlikeness. It enhances family unity, and frees the members to pursue and fulfill their God-ordained destinies.

(7) The Principle of role appreciation

While we discussed the performance of the family, we observed that each component in the Christ-centered family had a role assigned for her for the smooth running of the family. This is God’s order for the family.

When we sacrificially perform these roles and responsibilities, our families will blossom into God’s perfect design. It is a home where He is honored, and His virtues are expressed on a daily basis.

Our Lord Jesus Christ said in the book of John 13:17,

“If ye know these things, happy are ye if you do them.”

May the Holy Spirit move your heart from being a mere hearer to a doer. God bless you, your spouse, and children, in Jesus precious name.

END

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